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More Family Pictures

Jackie (Monique's sister), Mel Dressler (Ex-husband) and Monique in 1991 in front of her Grandmother's home in Miami Florida.

Court Ordered Phone Calls (2)

Court Ordered Phone Calls (1)

Chapter One: Born in Jamaica

Monique Ann Antognetti was born in Montego Bay, sometime in the last week of April 1968. She was the third of four girls, born to her mother out of wedlock by different men. Jackie was the first born, followed by Bridgette, then Monique and the youngest, Rachel. Her mother, Julie and her grandmother, Iolyn Plummer, never agreed on the date of birth. Monique and her first husband, Mel Dressler, attempted to retrieve her birth certificate from the public records in Spanishtown, Jamaica but even after filling out the appropriate documents and submitting the payments, never received it. Two possibilities come to mind for this failure. First, since her half sister Michelle Parkes did everything in her power to keep Monique from reuniting with her biological father (in order to keep her own inheritance intact), she received the document but did not forward it as she promised to. Second, Monique's birth was not registered (although her grandmother claims to have been the one who reported it) or it was just not stored correctly and therefore the records, do not exist.
Monique has adopted the 29th of April as her date of birth although her mother strongly objected to this date, claiming that she had given birth one week earlier. Monique was given the same surname as her older sister Jackie "Antognetti",. Monique's mother never admitted who Monique's father was instead lead her to believe that she and Jackie had the same father. After Monique's graduation in Penticton, B.C. she met with Frank Antognetti (Jackie's father) and he told her that although he wished he was her father, in fact he was not. This disturbed Monique deeply as her sisters all had the surnames of their biological father except her.
Long before Monique's birth, tragedy brewed. Julie (Monique's mother) was approximately seventeen years old when Frank Antognetti kidnapped her and held her captive in his house only a short distance from where Julie's home was where she resided with her brother and two sisters. Within a week or so rumors of Julie's whereabouts reached Iolyn (Julie's mother)and she immediately went and confronted Frank and demanded her daughter back. Frank obliged to avoid being charged with the crime. Julie was now back, safe with her mother, but she was pregnant. Julie's first child, Jackie was born. Iolyn (Julie's mother and Monique's grandmother) often had to go up to Julie's bedroom at night to take care of Jackie who was crying and left unattended (Julie often slipped out of the house). About a year later, Julie gave birth at home, to Bridgette. Iolyn claims that she broke into the bedroom that night and seeing the baby blue and almost lifeless, prevented Julie from further suffocating the baby. These series of events compelled her to look after the children born to Julie. Julie eventually moved out of Iolyn's home, leaving her Mother and Stepfather with all four children. Monique was approximately 3 years old at the time. Julie would return periodically ( once or twice a year) with presents for the girls. An Englishman with a cockney accent, Michael Parkes visited Monique several times a year and brought her gifts. It was not often that someone driving a car came to visit them. When Monique was asked if she needed anything, she politely informed him that she and her sisters did not. The children were told that their mother was busy working as a model. The girls later learned from their mother, that in fact she was prostituting herself during that time. Julie finally met a German-Canadian named Gunter who agreed to marry her and take her back to Canada. She told him that she had a child and introduced him to Monique. Monique was the daughter with the lightest color of skin and Julie probably felt that it would ease the transition if he learned the truth (that she was a mother of 4 children) only a little at a time. Julie told her young child, Monique, not to say anything about the others,. On the day of the flight, Julie showed up with all her children and told Gunter that she had to look after the other 3 as well. The additional plane tickets were obtained that same day. Monique begged her grandmother not to be forced to leave with Julie. Her grandmother insisted that she should go with her mother. As they departed, Monique sobbed as she was taken from the only mother she had known, her Grandmother. They were flown to Canada and moved into a house in Penticton B.C. This is where the children really came to know and fear their abusive and alcoholic mother.
Now in Canada, Monique's mother opened a small drapery business in Penticton and attempted to emloye her daughters after school. Monique was the only one who perisited in helping her mother. Julie promised to pay her daughter for her work but never did. Monique believed that if she helped there would be more money for the household. She also recalled her hunger pains and fainting spells due to the "empty refrigerator". This, compounded with Julie's drinking and consistent neglect of the supper, burning on the stove, left little for the girls to do except go to the neighbor's Ted and Tammy for help.

Chapter Two : Survival in Penticton

Monique and her sisters had a very difficult time growing up in Penticton, B.C. According to their neighbors, Ted and Tammy, the girls were often in need. Tammy tells of how the famished girls would eat and sleep at her house when they were locked out of their own house for being a couple of minutes late.

Ted and Tammy volunteered as block parents and met with other block parents on occasion to share notes. They were appalled at how the girls were treated. They spoke of the hunger pains the girls complained of as well as clothing issues. Tammy felt that the girls needed professional help in dealing with events that transpired in Julie's home. The alchoholism affected Julie's ability to provide a safe home for them. Her fights with Gunther terrified the girls. The girls often huddled together crying as the adults had full-on brawls. Several times the girls landed in foster care as the police became increasingly involved.

Julie's punishments for the girls were pretty extreme also, After Jackie reported to Julie that she had been raped by the youth pastor of a church they attended, Jackie was promptly stripped naked and beaten with a 2 X 4. vJulie told Jackie that it must have been her own fault. Several times some of the girls were locked in the attic overnight without enough clothing or blankets for the intensely cold winters in Penticton. But most common was just being locked out of the house at night, forcing the child to ask a neighbor for help.

Years later Mel Dressler witnessed a weeping Monique, begging her grandmother to tell her why she let Julie take her when she knew Julie "was bad". Iowlyn responded with "she was your mother child" . When Monique tried to tell her of some of the abuses she was told not to talk about "those things". When Bridgette (Monique's older sister) was asked about this period she jumped out of the van and ran across the street. There she fell to her knees and sobbed for about five minuets. When she returned to the van she exclaimed, " whoa, I havn't been there in a while". All this time her children where in the back of the van worried about their mother. Bridgette added that "Julie was crazy, we moved out as soon as we could". Rachel had the traumatic experience of coming home from school one day only to find the house empty. Her mother had left and put the furniture in storage so she could pursue a man from England to get his money. Rachel had to live with a foster family for about six months or so. When her mother returned, Rachel got even by stealing seven thousand dollars from Julie's account with her ATM card.

Monique brought Mel Dressler (her husband at the time) to see her mother about four times. The first time they were invited for dinner, Monique marched into the kitchen, found all the food burnt on the stove, and attacked her mother. The battle was not pretty! The last time Monique took Mel to see her mother was after she was diagnosed with cancer. The meeting was more civil as Monique was trying to obtain information about her true father. Julie still would not admitt to Monique that Michael Parks was her father. But she did speak about him to her. " He was the "best dressed man in Montego Bay" was one of the comments, and " he owned a gold mine somewhere" was another while she turned a gold braclet on her wrist that she got from him.

This bracelet was really the only thing that Julie had that Monique wanted from her after her death, because it came from her father.

Chapter Three Mel and Monique

Mel and Monique met at "Richards" (a nightclub) one night when Monique accompanied her sister Raquel there. Mel spent several hours speaking with Monique which led to their paths crossing almost daily thereafter. Mel told Monique about his desire to work with the elderly and she expressed a similar dream. Monique came from a legacy of working women and expressed that she wished to pursue her career as a nurse. Mel was recovering from a serious car accident and agreed to be a "house-husband". Monique felt very comfortable with this concept as her fondest memories as a child were from the time she lived with her grandparents and her papi (grandfather) who had cateracts, stayed home with the children while Mama (grandmother) worked. Monique was working as an admitting clerk at Vancouver General Hospital. She had worked her way up from the bottom so to speak by keeping a carefull eye on the job postings and the requirments for them. Monique was paid very well as the hospital jobs were union jobs. The emergency admitting department was notoriously difficult to keep staffed. It had the highest number of sick day absenteeism in the hospital. This presented Monique with ample opportunities to work double shifts. Many of these double shifts fell on holiday's which allowed her to earn over a thousand dollars in some weekends. Monique felt good about her high earning power.

Although Mel and Monique were speaking and seeing each other almost daily, Monique said little about her previous boyfriend Ralph, an engineer. Later Mel understood, that Ralph had wished Monique was more domesticated like his own mother. Her ambition and drive made the alliance with Mel more appealing to her than her than relationship with Ralph, as she was now given the freedom to find out how far she could go with these qualities. So after spending almost everyday together for three months, Mel and Monique were married in Surrey, in a civil ceremony October 26th 1991. A church ceremony was to follow in Miami at her grandmother's church. Mel and Monique planned their path towards owning and operating their own senior's care facility. Monique attended nursing school and Mel invested in a a piece of propery. Monique wording double shifts on weekends and attended school during the week. Mel and Monique now owned a new mega-home in Surrey,B.C. across the bridge from the college she attended. The ground floor contained two separate suites that generated enough income to cover the mortgage. Mercedes was born while they were living in this new house, Mel was taking care of the baby while Monique attended college and worked weekends. This situation lasted for about a year as Mel's parents were returning from Europe and needed them to sell the house in Surrey to free up money they needed to purchase a home again for themselves. While in Europe, Mel's parents had lent them additional monies to purchase property in Sooke on Vancouver Island which was to be the future site of the care facility. The double beach-front lot in Sooke had a small house and cottage that rented for a fourteen hundred dollars per month. This was about six hundred short of the complete mortgage payment. When they moved out of the Surrey house, Mel's parents bought a waterfront lot in Sooke also, although a very large lot, the house was a run down shack that required the walls and floors and roof to be redone before they could move in. Marius (Mel's younger brother) lived there with some friends until the house was made suitable for Dr. Harold Dressler and his wife Ruth about two years later. A plan like this carried with it lots of responsibilities and Mel and Monique continued to work hard toward their goal of owning and operating their own business. There were of course many bumps and potholes along the way. Monique had a male nursing student friend, Anthony who became much more than her study partner. Mel was later verbally abused by Anthony's mother who demanded to know what kind of a man lets his wife sleep over at another man's apartment. Anthony was yelling at his mother that Mel didn't know about that during the verbal assault. At this point there were two children, Mercedes and Menalek that Mel was taking care of in a one bedroom apartment in New Westminster B.C which was only blocks away from the college Monique attended. This was a difficult time for Mel as he realised that there was something wrong with Monique but he didn't know what it was. When Monique graduated, Mel moved to Vancouver Island with the kids and waited for Monique to finish her practicum in Vancouver. Monique was pregnant with Madeleine during her Practicum and when she finished she came to Victoria to give birth to Madeleine and took he first maternity leave in Sooke. She quickly became bored with staying home with the kids and applied to the University of Victoria and took some correspondance courses. The money was tight during this period and Monique spent about six hundred dollars every two months on her hair extentions. She had discovered micro braids and now sported long braided blond hair that kept people guessing her origins. With the construction project behind schedule and Mel's parents living on the property, Monique became more and more unhappy with her life as her thirtieth birthday loomed. Sure enough, Monique exploded shortly after her birthday as predicted by Tammy in Penticton. Monique moved in with a boyfriend from work and left the kids.

Chapter Four: Back and Fourth

At first, Mel was glad that Monique left, it was quite a relief. Mel felt like he was coming down from a very bad trip of spousal abuse, including the ufo's that Monique hurled at Mel in anger. Unfortunately, Mercedes, then six received one such delivery as she stepped in front of her father. The plate opened up a two inch section on her forehead. Mel feared that if they took Mercedes to the hospital it would result in the children being taken into protective custody by social services. So instead he took 3M suture tape and held the skin together for the next twelve hours. This really minimised the scar but people still wanted to know how it happened. Somehow the truth just didn't seem like a good idea at this point, and Mercedes was taught to lie about her wound. This is of course something that Mel bitterly regrets to this day. Teaching a child to lie should never come up. Mercedes obediently told everyone that the scare was the result of her falling and bumping her head.

Now that Monique had gone, Mel had only the children to worry about and somehow that felt managable to him. After wo months, Monique showed up with a girlfriend to collect the children. In trying to dislodge Madeleine from her father, Monique was pulling Madeleine's little arm so hard that he was forced to let her go to prevent injury. Monique took the children to her new home in Victoria where she lived with her new boyfriend Jason.

Chapter Five - Monique becomes Julie (her mother) (a)

This next episode of Monique's life is most probably the result of her mother telling Monique at a very young age all about her sexual exploits. A mother's attempt to treat her daughter as a girfriend, instead of a child is the resultof absent mothers being constantly told by their children that they are not really their mother, because the children were raised by someone else. In Monique's case it was Mama, her grandmother who raised her. So Julie used this abusive device to become like an older sister who would woo the children closer to her by sharing her private sexual history with them. She compounded this by adding that the girls needed to be toughened up for the real world so they would not get as hurt. She went on to explain to her daughters that men would come and go in their lives but they must always keep the upper hand. She told them to keep men in their lives under the spell of their sexual power. Essentially, she taught them they could get what ever they needed with the power of seduction and sexual rewards.
After Mel, Monique's next candidate presented himself before she even moved out of the house on Billings Road. It was Jason, a nurses aid, who had introduced himself to her one day by remarking to her that he had a dream about her. Monique came home and relayed this information to her husband Mel, who already new it was the beginning of more abuse from her. Jason, though younger than Monique, had already had experience with older women and was great at getting what he wanted. On a day that was months from Monique's birthday, Jason filled a room with balloons and told Monique it was a birthday party to make up for all the birthday's she had missed (Jason knew that Monique's mother hosted birthday parties for the three other sisters but never for Monique).

Chapter Six - Monique becomes Julie (her mother) (b)

With Jason now firmly in her grip, Monique gets a high profile female lawyer to help her keep the children from their father, Mel Dressler. Mel knows that Monique spends little time with the children, and is required to fight to see them by sending dates for visits to be approved to her lawyer. It soon becomed apparant that the lawyer was playing games and delaying notifying Monique of the dates requested by Mel.

Mel is in pain from having been kept from the children he loves so dearly and in the hope of being allowed to see the children more, he writes Monique a letter admitting fault for the failure of the marriage. He meets Monique at the hospital she is working at and gives her the letter. Monique reads the letter and decides to give Mel another chance. She asks Mel if he knows she is with another man. Mel acknowledges this but tells her she is still married and can do what ever she wants to. Mel shows Monique the dates of the faxes from her lawyer and she understands that her lawyer was making things worse intentionally. She tells Mel that she has no time to clean up the town house she has rented with Jason and needs to get her damage deposit back. Mel offers to go and clean up the town house and does so. Monique moves back into the house on Billings Road. It was at this point that Monique explains to Mel that she has a sexual addiction to Jason. She tries to avoid Jason but as they work together she can't.